I feel like my last post should have been more magical. I mean, a first kiss should be a big deal. But for me it was just something to get rid of. I had been waiting for so long for someone to notice me and sweep me off my feet, but that's not the way things happen.
This isn't a fond memory for me. Not that it made me cry or kept me awake at night, just that it really didn't hold any meaning for me what so ever. He was just a boy, no more important that someone I would walk past in a grocery store. And I wish that weren't true, but it is.
I read SS's post again, and I really don't like it. But, I think it's because I have no connection to it, other than the fact that I was in it. I feel like I lived it by watching it, not by being in it.
Am i the only one out there who feels this way? Everyone's first kiss couldn't have been magical...
I guess it somewhat mattered to me; I can still smell his cologne, feel his slippery lips. I see the room with the floral couch and the tv in front of it. I see the awkward way we were sitting and how wrong it felt when he tried to hold my hand.
Just wrong, so, so wrong. Wouldn't it be nice if I could say I hadn't felt like that since? Ha!
Such is life,
Lauren
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